Atonement
by Teaismyqueen
Summary: Set after the ultimatum... The Baghdad Station Chief. This is based on a Lilac Mermaid prompt but I won't reveal which one yet. This is very angsty but I'm sure will turn at some point.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Welcome to a small multi chapter... May just be three chapters or just two. Based on a prompt from Lilac Mermaid and it incorporates the three things challenge that was posted on tumblr. Lilac messaged me and provided me with three things that appear in this story.

This take place after the whole Station Chief job offer fight and a prompt I got from tumblr. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into their lives.

**March 2005 - Friday**

Clearly this wasn't going to work. Henry knew it deep in his belly and so did Elizabeth but they were both refusing to give in and admit it. Instead choosing to ignore the awkwardness and continue with this charade of 'sleeping' next to each other. Both of them were awake, Henry could feel Elizabeth tense at his side. The distance in the bed felt mammoth, a huge expanse of emptiness that neither party wanted to cross. Henry thought back to earlier on in this very bedroom and how she was so animated, fire alive in her eyes as she spoke about the promotion that was on the table and how he extinguished that fire, that passion, in an instance by throwing their family in her face. He trembled as he remembered feeling so irate with her and his head pounded now. His mind still felt foggy, clouded with anger with her. How could she even consider going for a year… How could she leave their babies…. Were they not enough for her anymore? His body was heavy on the mattress, his limbs felt as though they were dead weights, his whole body ached and he wasn't sure if it was heartache or that fact he was coming down with something or just a painful mixture of the both.

Elizabeth laid still in the dark, staring at the ceiling, frustration flowing freely through her body, she felt as though it was eating her whole. Like a rough sea of emotions would swirl and crash, the white tipped hands of the waves grasping at her limbs pulling her down, pulling her under into the dark depths so she could not longer breathe. She hadn't felt like this in a long time not since her parents had died and she hated the fact she could feel herself being dragged back under. Reaching breaking point and sat upright in bed, huffing loudly she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and placed her feet on the cool floor. She had to get out of here…

"You're leaving" it was a statement rather than a question and she recoiled at hearing his voice so dead with emotion call out into the darkness. She was surrounded by darkness and she didn't know the way out of the deep and back to the shallows. All she was sure of was that she needed to leave their room.

Taking a deep breath, attempting to ease the tightness in her chest, she spoke through gritted teeth "Not like that, not now" and before she could stop herself she stood quickly feeling a little lightheaded as she did and padded out the room.

If the room was light she would have seen Henry press his lips tightly together, she would have seen his eyes squeeze shut for a moment as he attempted to control the disappointment that flooded his face. If the room was light he would have seen how she squared her shoulders and glared as she moved away from him. If… if…. If… If things were different then this wouldn't be happening.

Elizabeth held her breath as she moved through the house slowly, not daring to make a sound desperately trying to be silent in fear of waking her babies up. She couldn't bare to face them right now so she tiptoed her way through the gauntlet of discarded toys. A ball, a toy car, a tennis racket and even what appeared to be a pair of her shoes littered the hallway. She failed to smile at the memory of Henry joking with her that if they were to be burgled the burglar would have trouble navigating the house, she remembered laughing at how the toys they failed to tidy up were in fact an extra security measure… Who needs an alarm anyway!

She was too invested at her rage towards him, towards the feelings and guilt storm he created inside of her when he threw the kids in her face that she didn't thaw a little with that memory. How can he not let me go? It's made for me. How can he not see that I am part of something bigger something more than this. I wrote the proposal. I have to go, Conrad is depending on me. Things will work out. They have to.

She entered the den and threw herself onto the sofa, huffing again whilst pulling the throw over her body. Wrapping herself up tightly in her pink dressing gown she laid still and tried to process her next steps. She never expected Henry to put up a fight. She never really expected that he would say no. She realised that she never really thought about his feelings and that hurt her more than she was able to admit in the small hours of the night. A small tear escaped and ran down her cheek as she laid there in the fetal position on her own in the dead of night.

The next morning after a frosty breakfast full of snappy comments and avoidance tactics on her part she managed to throw the girls outside whilst Henry went to put Jason down for a nap. Trying to ground herself and revel in the silence she snapped her eyes shut. Although all she seemed to see was the Twin Towers falling behind her eyes. Shaking her body trying to physically rid it of the images Elizabeth set about making a stew to go into the crock pot. She had a fitful night's sleep on the couch and her eyes stung, they were red and she felt foggy. She constantly woke to images of torture, hands tied, knuckles white… Blood. She couldn't seem to shake the distant sounds of screaming that echoed in her mind constantly pulling her out of her slumber and back into the den. She had the power to stop torture from happening, she was in the unique position where she was the only one who could really go forth and effect real change. How can Henry not want me to help in this world that we live in…. Even if it has fallen apart. As soon as the girls were outside and out of earshot she reached for the radio and turned the news channel on listening to the latest death reports. Each time the reported read out a name she winced and counted. 37… 37 young service men and women that had lost their lives in a war she should have prevented in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

**March 2005 - Saturday**

Henry placed Jason down in his crib and stroked his soft wispy baby hair slowly, lulling him into sleep. Henry's hand was large compared to the one year olds head and Henry couldn't help but think how big he would be when Elizabeth got back from Baghdad. He found himself coiling up, body tensing as he thought about her leaving. _A whole year… That's huge… how could she want to leave us for that long?_ _Miss our children grow, miss out on our life that we fought for. _

Henry stood, leaving Jason in his crib, his body felt like running away, he didn't know how to handle this annoyance towards her. How could he get her to see that she was a part of something bigger here… at home. He paced, like a caged animal. Prowling the floor backwards and forwards, hands linked and on top of his pounding head, trying to ground himself. Pushing himself down onto the floor, not easing the pressure at all. He cursed forcefully under his breath, letting out frustration and steam with his words, words he hoped he would never use in his argument to get her to stay. His legs felt full of sand and he didn't want to go back down to the kitchen, he couldn't face her yet. He was still so angry that she wanted to abandon them. Falling to his knees in defeat he closed his eyes and prayed. He let his mind channel his energy towards God. Asking for guidance on how to let her see what she would be throwing away by going.

Steadying his breathing and opening his eyes once again to their sleeping son Henry realised… what would it be like when she got back. He swallowed thickly, his throat dry, as he thought _If she got back._ The children would change. She would change. He would change. _Could I ever truly forgive her. Would we be compatible anymore together? _Heart pounding, eyes stinging he stood and went to fight for his future. Their future. He had to get her to see, break her tunnel vision apart and let in the light. Hopefully allowing her to see the possibilities of a different path.

….

As the day wore on and they battled through normal family stuff, dinner, bath, bed, the silence continued between them. The silence was a like a heavy curtain weighing down on them, suppressing their voices not allowing them to talk even if they wanted. The curtain was like the thick red safety curtain at the theatre, only lifting to allow the players to speak briefly before resetting for the next act. Act 1 was the bedroom last night followed by Act two in the kitchen earlier in the day. Both Acts full of passion, love and meaningful words spoken in earnest.

Neither Elizabeth or Henry could face looking at each other, both terrified of what they would see if they allowed their eyes to meet. Dropping gazes and speaking only to the kids, they coexisted for the day. It pained Elizabeth, deep within her chest, as the guilt ate at her. Although this guilt just seemed to fire her decision to go. She loved her family beyond comprehension, _How could he not see that? _Her heart ached this afternoon as she watched Stevie push Ali around the garden on their toy car, blissfully unaware of the tension that swirled around their parents. Elizabeth needed to help make this world, their world, safe for the people she loved. She loved them with every fibre of her being and that was why she wanted to go and help, fight the cause, get this war resolved.

When she finally let herself sink into the couch Elizabeth replayed the only conversation they had that day. She had tried to reassure him that she would be back, it was only a year, that people were depending on her. Closing her eyes and allowing her heavy head to rest on the cushions she saw his heart break in front of her again, she saw the raw look in his eyes and the defeat in his voice as he uttered the words "If you go to Baghdad, I don't know what it will look like when you get back"

…

Henry fell into bed as soon as the kids were asleep, he let the soft mattress catch his tired body. The soft blankets and pillows wrapping themselves around him almost cradling him, providing him comfort and protecting him from the outside world. The feeling of warmth surrounding him eased the aches and pains he felt in his joints, in his muscles however it didn't touch the ache that resonated deep within his chest.

He fell easily into sleep or in all honesty sleep overcame him, taking him into the night and capturing him as its own. Henry was powerless against the exhaustion that plagued his body mentally, physically and emotionally.

Elizabeth wondered where Henry was as she waited for him to seek her out in the den, as they did every other night. However, when he didn't come down she assumed he couldn't face her. That silently broke her. That made her relive his words again. _Won't know what it will look like. _Her mind flashed to her parents and how she dealt with them being gone. It frightened her to think of her children being without their mother, without her being there to see them grow. Elizabeth clenched her hands into a fist as she felt a huge responsibility to the new world order surge through her. She was truly torn in her mind and it pained her, made her angry and saddened all at the same time. She decided to get up and seek Henry out, feeling a little selfish because she needed him to hold her together. To help pick up the pieces, help her make sense and help stick her back together just as they had done so many times before for each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth stretched out her arm and placed her hand on the white wooden door that was the gateway to their room. She pushed it gently open to revel Henry sprawled flat out over the centre of the bed. Something wasn't right, she knew that instantly, he was still fully clothed on top of the comforter. Her heart picked up its pace instantly, feeding her body with extra oxygen that came from her faster breathing. Adrenaline surged through her and she felt her limbs prepare to move.

"Henry" she whispered, surveying him with her eyes that darted across his body. His chest was rising and falling quickly and the sound of his laboured breathing was filling the room with its rasps and stuffy snore. When he didn't stir she shouted a little louder "Henry!" Elizabeth marched to the bed and sat herself down on the side and reached out to touch his hand. She recoiled as she felt how cold it was even though he had small pearls of sweat on his brow. He was sick that much was evident, how sick she wasn't sure but her heart broke for his profile. He looked awful, pained even. All memories of their heated words extinguished in a moment, she was his wife, his love and soul. Shaking his shoulder and saying his name more forcefully she managed to rouse him slightly. His eyes opened briefly before flickering closed again.

A shaky "Elizabeth" came from him as he screwed his forehead up into furrowed lines as he winced at the light.

"Baby" she sighed gently, attempting to soothe him with her voice, as she would with their children. "I'm right here. Are you feeling poorly?" Her hand brushed against his thick hair on his head and tickled his sideburns that had started to grow in since his last haircut. Henry nodded gingerly with confirmation that he wasn't well.

He hadn't felt right all day and just assumed that it was the stress they were under as a couple. His head had been pounding and his throat scratchy, but again he just put it down to their current situation. After Henry and Elizabeth had settled the kids he had collapsed on the bed feeling exhausted and it wasn't until now he realised how awful he truly felt. It was almost like the virus that had taken root in him knew when it could be unleashed. His head swam, he felt as though he was stranded on a boat at sea, never still, always swaying moved by the waves and the currents that swirled around him. His head was weighed down by an immense pressure, it was like a vice that had captured his skull in an unrelenting squeeze. Pound, pound, pounding away in time with the beat of his heart. His throat and mouth were dry due to the fact he could no longer breathe through his nose and had slept with his mouth open. The air his body sucked in whipped any moisture away leaving him with a sore throat and cracked lips.

Elizabeth noticed him moving his mouth trying to remoistion his lips with his dry tongue. She stood quickly turned on her heel and ran down to the kitchen shouting over her shoulder that she would just go and get him some water.

As Elizabeth stood at the sink waiting for the water to cool she couldn't help but let her mind race ahead. What if he's really sick. He thinks I want to leave. I never want to leave him. Them. My life. Elizabeth filled a large glass with cool water and grabbed some Tylenol for his fever and headed back up to look after him.

He was curled into himself this time. In his hand she noticed her robe clutched in between his fingers. She found herself hesitating a little before rousing him awake again, no matter what had passed between them she was still there to care for him.

After placing the water and pills on his bedside cabinet she sat on the bed in front of him gently placing her hand on his shoulder and shook it softly. "Henry, baby. I've got some pills and water here" she could see him wince as he began to move "they will help with the pain and fever. Come, let me help you"

She had her arm under his shoulder as she helped manoeuvre him into a sitting position. With shaky hands he reached for the glass that she handed to him with the pills. The cool water flooded his mouth and provided some relief but hurt as he swallowed it down. After he had taken the pills he felt Elizabeth take the glass from him and gently squeeze his arm. Henry peered out from under his heavy eyelids and saw concern painted over her features.

"Hey, I'm ok" his hoarse voice, scratchy, weak from the virus that had taken his body as its own. He saw her lips turn up in a slight smile as his eyes flickered closed again.

"Henry, let me undress you. You need to get out of these clothes, they are wet and you need to be comfortable" He swayed a little in his sitting position on the bed as she continued "and then I'll lay you down so you can sleep"

"You just want to see me naked" his attempt at humor made Elizabeth smile as she lifted his pullover and shirt over his head carefully, quickly replacing it with a new t-shirt. She let him fall back onto the pillows and nudged him to lift his hips up so she could pull down his pants and boxers. She struggled a little but with a few tugs she got rid of the old and attempted to pull on some clean shorts for him. Finally once he was covered she pulled a loose sheet up over his body and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

As she stood and brushed her teeth she knew she would be staying in their room tonight and not back down in the den just to keep an eye on him. Henry rarely came down with anything but when he fell he always fell hard and she knew that this would be a long night. Leaving their bathroom light on and closing the door to allowing a little light to lighten the bedroom she padded back to their bed and laid down next to her husband.

He barely surfaced all night and as he slept the fever burnt through his body sending his mind on a wild ride. Little did he know but he spoke throughout the early hours of the morning, entertaining Elizabeth but equally scaring her. She put the ceiling fan on as his fever broke again, the constant whirr waking Henry a little bringing about a nightmare she supposed. He shouted about the helicopter and escaping. The heartbreaking whimpers of 'No' caused Elizabeth to cradle her husband in the semi darkness, his head on her lap her hands soothing his worries. Silent tears fell from her burning eyes, not able to contain them anymore she allowed herself to cry softly in the dimly lit room. He soon settled again, snoring away and going limp in her arms. She moved him so his body was back on his side of the bed and she laid herself down and closed her eyes falling asleep ever so easily.

…

"Momma…. Momma… Dada"

Elizabeth sat straight upwards heart pounding and head softly throbbing from tiredness. Jason was calling her and she quickly got up and ran to his room. It confused her when she couldn't really see him, Henry was on the floor playing with his son. They looked as though they were having a tea party, stuffed animals were in a haphazard circle with a brightly coloured plastic cup in front of each one.

"Momma bear likes her tea" She heard Henry say to Jason in a sing song voice before he tickled Jason with the bear "Momma bear likes you too" Jason squealed with laughter as Henry made Momma bear eat him. Jason was bigger, Elizabeth didn't recognise the small boy.

"Dada, where is real Momma?" Jason said softly. Elizabeth moved closer to the two on the floor and tried to say that she was right there. She saw Henry's face, dark marks under his eyes and the skin on his face dull.

He drew in a shaky breath before he spoke "Remember buddy, she's not here. You won't see her again, she died" Elizabeth collapsed to the floor, her legs unable to hold her up any longer.

"Momma!" Came another cry and Elizabeth whipped her head round as she got hit in the head with a little hand. She sat up again, panting as she saw Stevie standing in front of her. "Momma, Daddy's not waking up. Look the suns up"

Elizabeth slowly came too, it was just a dream. It was just a dream. She reassured herself again and again. "Sorry, baby girl. Whats up?" Smiling through the grief, that she felt in her chest, at their eldest daughter she tried to calm herself. She was still here, she hadn't gone to Iraq.

"Daddy's not waking up and I'm hungry. My belly is all rumbly and making noises" Elizabeth could hear Henry snoring still and swung her legs out of the bed and scooped Stevie up in her arms and swiftly carried her out of their bedroom. Leaving Henry asleep.

"Daddy isn't well. He's sick, we are going to leave him in bed today. Now let's go and find your sister and brother"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Sorry about the time it has taken to update. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave your words of encouragement, it really is lovely to read. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Thanks for sticking with me xx

**Sunday Morning.**

Elizabeth moved around the kitchen carefully. Unloading the dishwasher and gathering up the items for their breakfast. Elizabeth enlisted Stevie and Alison's help, passing the plastic bits to Ali who toddled over to the table whilst Elizabeth trusted Stevie with the milk and cereals. This simple morning routine, one that has been completed many times before was a welcome break of normalcy and one that Elizabeth didn't quite realised she craved. The girls and Elizabeth made a good team and they loved running backwards and forwards, smiles lighting up their little faces as they moved between the table and their mommy.

Jason squealed with delight every time one of the girls put something on the table and Elizabeth felt herself smiling at the scene in front of her. The tug in her facial muscles felt a little odd almost as though she was surprised that she was smiling naturally. Her hands moved to her chest and held the material tightly as she felt guilt wash through her body again, the dilemma still clouding her head. Taking a shaky breath she attempted to rid herself of the rising tide that threatened to capture her again and allowed herself to chuckle slightly when Stevie began to organise the younger two. The gaping black hole in her chest was ever present, she still wasn't fixed and she wasn't sure that it would be a quick one if ever. She felt the edges of the invisible wound were still so fresh, so raw.

Absentmindedly she reached for the radio, feeling like she needed to be kept in the loop. The addiction for information was there, she craved it she needed it. It clawed at her subconscious and it pestered her, wanting feeding. Her whole life she had been comfortable with information, she loved facts and numbers. They made sense and she had found comfort in that world. However, the sounds of her three children laughing and shouting amongst each other made her pause before turning on the radio. Her hand rested on the power button and instead of switching it on Elizabeth let herself take in the tiny little chuckles and the frustrations of little Ali being bossed around by her older sister.

The murky depths that she felt herself succumb to two nights ago seemed to be clearing a little with every laugh, every shout and squeal of her little brood. Their giggles unknowingly cleansing her of doubt, slowly washing away that sticky tar like guilt that she held about her decision.

Once they were settled and eating their breakfast, Elizabeth thought she better check on Henry so she trudged back up the stairs towards their bedroom and found him still asleep. He still sounded and looked so awful, full of cold. Elizabeth moved to his side with ease and reached for his hair slowly as not to startle him.

"Hey baby, you ok?" Elizabeth softly stroked Henry's hair as she sat on the side of the bed. The air was thick in their bedroom and it smelt. Not overly bad but it wasn't pleasant. So whilst she waited for Henry to respond she got up and opened the window to allow the soft breeze to clear the stagnant air that filled their bedroom.

"Huh?" His weak gruff voice alerted Elizabeth to him and she took her place by his side. His eyes were closed and she studied his face. His skin was pale and his stubble had started taking over his face, reclaiming it for it's own.

"I've bought you up some more water. Are you feeling up to drinking it." She watched him as he gingerly nodded his head and she helped him sit up. She knew she was fussing over him but she couldn't help it, he was her Henry and she always fussed over him when he was unwell. Elizabeth always knew when he was getting better because he would start to get agitated with her for waiting on him. She smiled softly as she anticipated that day, silently praying it would come soon. They needed to talk.

Once he was sat upright in bed she moved the pillows to support his body. She found herself in close proximity to head whilst she helped get him comfortable. Her face was near his as she stuffed the final pillow down behind him. She felt his hair tickling her ear as she leant over her heart thrummed in her chest and she hastily turned her face and pressed her lips to his hairline. Leaving them there for a short while. She adored the way his skin felt under her lips and she wasn't quite ready to move just yet, her eyes slipped closed and she forced herself not to cry. She loved Henry so much and she realised that she hadn't kissed him or shown any affection since returning from work on Friday. Elizabeth pulled herself away from him and wondered if he was happy that she had kissed him. Before he was unwell he was so upset with her, so angry when she spoke of her promotion, would he even want her to kiss him now?

She busied herself getting the glass of water form the cabinet, not daring to look at him. Once she lifted the glass and passed it to Henry and he had a sip or two his head fell back against the headboard and he met her eyes. The look the both of them shared in that moment was more than love and understanding it was of commitment to each other, a bond that nothing could break. Elizabeth felt her body soften towards him, her shoulders loosened and her head tilted to the side a little. Henry reached his hand out to hers and she captured it willingly. Cradling his hand between her two, she held it as if it was the most valuable thing in the world and one she would never let go. She watched as his eyes closed again and she listened to the sound of their children downstairs. This was her home and this is where she belonged. If the world was about to end tomorrow Elizabeth knew that there was not a single place in the world she wanted to be more than right here with her family.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice was as low as a whisper so she didn't disturb the peace in the room.

Henry lay with his eyes closed and he could feel his hand held in hers so very carefully and it comforted him that she was with him. His head was still pounding and every single breath seemed to be an effort. His whole body ached and it was hard work staying awake, the drowsiness threatening to pull him under with every passing second. He wanted to voice his appreciation and love towards Elizabeth but he couldn't manage it so he let the thoughts swirl around his mind like leaves in the autumn wind.

"I hurt" is all he managed. Elizabeth questioned him if it was the flu or just a cold and all Henry could manage was a slight nod at the latter. He weakly smiled at her as she bought his hand to her lips and kissed it before helping him to resettle back down on the pillow. Elizabeth heard his voice thick with cold say "I love you" and she smiled and left him to sleep for a couple more hours.

….

Before they left for the park and the store Elizabeth ran upstairs to let Henry know they would be out and she was surprised to find him awake and sitting on the edge of the bed. His head shot up when she entered the room and she instantly rushed and knelt in front of him.

"Hey baby, where are you going?" Her voice was urgent and she met his eyes and tried to work out what was going on.

"I heard you leaving." He croaked before coughing harshly, his whole body shook with each forceful cough that ripped through his chest.

"Yes, I'm taking the kids to the park and the store. I'm going to get you some soup and more meds because you had the last of them this morning"

"I thought you were leaving" His eyes met hers and she knew what he meant. Elizabeth felt winded, like the air had been knocked cleanly right out of her. She didn't know how to respond so she didn't. She got him back into bed and settled him down after he had drunk some more water.

"I can't leave you Henry." She leant down and kissed his forehead gently and whispered to him "Ever" and in that moment she knew she couldn't go to Iraq. She couldn't leave him or her family for a year. Even with this realisation her heart still ached for the path that she would now never follow. "I'll be back… I promise" and she turned and left him already sleeping again in the mass of pillows and sheets.


	5. Chapter 5

This is the end… Thank you.

A couple of days passed with Elizabeth getting up with the children, dropping them at daycare and school leaving Henry in bed. He was starting to get better as each day passed and on Wednesday night when the doorbell rang signalling the pizza delivery Henry appeared at the foot of the stairs looking a little worn but definitely better than he had. He finally felt up to sitting down and eating with his family, he had missed them and was desperate to talk to Elizabeth. Did she hate him? Could she forgive him?

"What are you doing up? Are you feeling OK?" Elizabeth's eyes opened wide as she took in her husband before her, shock evidently sketched across her face. "Do you need anything bought up?"

Henry smiled at his surprised wife balancing the huge pizza box in one arm as she reached for him. "Babe, I'm fine. It's just a cold, I've gotta get up at some point. Stop fussing." his voice was thick with cold and his words muffled a bit but he pushed himself wanting to be a part of his family whilst she was still here with them.

"Oh Henry. Come and sit down. You want some pizza or shall I heat some more soup?" her eyes frantically searched him, noticing his red raw nose and he could tell instantly she was still worried about him. He allowed her this worry, knowing that she fussed over him when he was unwell and swallowed his pride and asked for soup.

….

After dinner Elizabeth put him in the den whilst she tidied away the dinner bits and encouraged the kids to tell their daddy what they did at school. Henry sat and watched little Jason play with toys as Ali scribbled furiously on paper. Stevie had curled up into his side and was trying to spell out words in her book. They were unknowingly being watched from the doorway by Elizabeth, who had seen this scene before, many times. However tonight she cherished it and committed it to memory for tonight was the first day of a new chapter for her and as apprehensive as she felt she was also feeling a little excited.

Feeling comfortable watching the familiar scene in front of her play out she thought about her day and the way it took quite an unexpected turn. Elizabeth found herself wince slightly as she felt a pang of sorrow shoot through her leaving a dull ache in her soul as she remembered the look on Conrads face when she entered his office and suddenly blurted out that she was leaving the CIA. To say he was shocked was the understatement of the century. She wasn't entirely sure what had propelled her with such vigor to announce it suddenly but not more than two hours later, a letter of resignation typed, she was back in there handing it over to her former boss with shaking hands and a pounding heart.

"Are you sure Bess?"

"I am Sir, this is just not the right time in my life to be leaving my family and I can't stay on and remain stagnant here. I want to thank you for all trust you put in me and this new framework"

She had to tell Henry at some point but thought against it today. She had agreed to stay on for one month with a view to extending if needed. So at least they had her paycheck for another month. She felt a little numb overall to the whole situation and she wasn't entirely sure it had hit her fully yet. With Henry being unwell it had ultimately helped her work through this on her own and for that she was silently grateful. Saving the heated words they would have spat at each other over hurried conversations. His illness, although tiresome, was in fact welcome, it had saved them from wounds that would have been surely made by sharp words they would have thrown at each other. As she stood in the doorway she thanked Henry's God that he was OK and that she was able to support him through it.

…

It was another couple of days before Henry was up and helping fully with the children allowing Elizabeth to get to work on time. Just as she was leaving the house he caught her in the porch and said "Stay as late as you need tonight, I got this."

"I'll let you know… Thanks Henry" she smiled at him weakly and turned to leave. It was strained between them both. Both not really knowing when to address the whole ultimatum thing. Henry had tried in the middle of the night once or twice and Elizabeth had shut him down. She found that she wasn't ready to admit to him that she had quit. By somehow speaking of it out loud would mean that its set in stone, even though it was. She thought to herself. Conrad had already appointed a new Station Chief and things seemed to be moving on.

"Hey babe, we need to talk…. Tonight" His voice called out behind her. She turned and nodded, not sure that her voice could be trusted to hide her emotions. Afraid that it would betray her poker face and break slightly as she agreed. So she settled for a nod of the head and a thumbs up. Dreading home time, she dragged herself to work.

…

By the time she got home that evening, it was dark and it was late. The children would be in bed and she spied Henry look out the window clocking her arrival home, he smiled and lifted up a bottle of wine pointing at her. She waved her hand in a non committal way, not really sure that she felt like drinking. She then watched with interest as he spun on his heel and grabbed something else. He turned back around with some salted chips and danced them around behind the pane of glass. Elizabeth smiled this time and then laughed out loud when he seemingly produced a bar of her favorite chocolate out of thin air all before spinning once more and producing flowers proudly. He waved at her to come in and she felt a nervous energy flood her. Embracing it, she hoped that she could now admit what she had done to him.

Upon entering the house Elizabeth noted that it was clean and tidy and she felt welcomed back into the safe environment of her home. This helped calm any nerves that were still tickling her soul and she rounded the corner of the den to see Henry standing amongst his haul of her favourite things.

"Wow… Henry!" she began as she couldn't help but smile at his face that was full of pride. "You certainly are feeling better"

"I thought you deserved it. You looked after me so well and it can't of been easy" Elizabeth went to make excuses and say it was no trouble but was silenced by Henry as he continued "I have a surprise for you, that I've been busy sorting out all day. Are you sure you don't want a glass of wine?"

Elizabeth dropped her bags to the floor and analysed Henry. He was behaving a little odd, this nervous energy, that she assumed was excitement, had made him speak faster as he shifted from foot to foot never seemingly able to stand still.

"Yes please, I'll have a glass. What's this big surprise you have for me then?"

Henry motioned for her to sit down on the couch as he poured the wine and once she was sitting comfortably he passed the bulbous glass over to her. The smell from the dark red liquid danced its way up to her nose and she took a deep breath in whilst she waited patiently for Henry to continue.

"OK" she watched him take a deep breath as he prepared his words in his mind. "Chinese I Ching declares that Coming to meet halfway is possible only between people who are mutually honest and sincere in their way of life. I know that is us Elizabeth. It always has been and it will continue to the end of our days. We can truly meet halfway. I desperately wanted to make this work for you, for us, but I couldn't see how. The kids wouldn't know you. The risk of you not coming back to us for an extended period of time far outweighed what I could see the benefits being. So, I made some calls and enquiries today."

Elizabeth was riveted. She had no clue what he was about to say to her and she normally could read Henry pretty well. After taking a big sip of her wine she placed the glass down on the table and held out her hand to touch his leg, almost so he couldn't fly away from her, with wherever he was going with this.

"I tried to look at what my issue with you going to Iraq was and it wasn't with the work exactly or the danger that you could be in. It was the distance. It was the fact you wouldn't see our children, I couldn't let you lose sight of the family that we have built together and I know how important this is for you so…" Taking a deep breath he looked at her in the eyes and continued."I looked into moving to Germany with the children for a year. I have organised a tentative secondment to a university in Munich."

It was like someone had muted the world around her. The words replayed in her mind, she felt dumbfounded and so touched that Henry would consider this as an option. Shaking her head slightly she started laughing. Thinking about the news that she had to tell him. She had quit a couple of days ago. Henry sat shocked as his wife that had been so closed off laughed in front of him and let out a slight shriek of surprise when she threw herself at him. He caught her body and held her close as her weight pressed him down into the soft couch cushions.

"Oh Henry" came her muffled laughter into his neck. Pulling herself ups o she could see his face she continued "If only you knew."

"Its safe in Germany it wouldn't be a bad thing for the kids to experience and at least you could come and see us every month or so. It's going to work Elizabeth"

"I quit my job earlier in the week."

"You what?!" Henry pushed her off of him and sat her down holding onto her shoulders.

"I quit"

"No"

"Yes"

"But… Why?" He couldn't believe it, this was the last thing he expected her to announce. "Are you OK? You aren't coming down with what I had are you?" he said earnestly. Touching her forehead gently with the palm of his hand.

She shook her head gently knowing this was her time to speak. To tell him how she could never leave them. How she truly couldn't bare to be apart for that long. How he had unknowingly broke through her tunnel and showed her the light.

They spoke well into the night before passionately allowing their bodies to reconnect and physically expressing their love to each other. As they lay together in the sheets they understood that the new path that lay before them wasn't going to be easy. It would be tough adjusting, more than either of them realised at that moment in time, but as long as they were standing together they would be strong enough to navigate the rocky path ahead.


End file.
